Emmy and Ryan have been on a relationship for 5 years. They live in together, and they basically know everything there is to know with each other. For 5 years, they have argued and fought about almost everything. This night, that 5 year relationship might be in jeopardy.
Due to the pandemic, they have been fighting with their lives to stay sane. Their funds have been depleting vastly. Their company hasn’t been open since the pandemic spread. Both of them have been stressed out ever since.
There was nothing they could do or say that would make things better. In fact, they both have ran out of things to say. No one can escape the paranoia. Not even the realist thinker.
“What can we do?” asked Emmy. She have struggled to keep her mind at ease. But she was positive. She was an optimistic person.
“We just got to think positive. There’s nothing else we can do”, said Ryan. Ryan was a realist. He sees things the way it is. He doesn’t really like being like it.
“You know, ever since we got stuck, all you do is tell me that, and nothing much has changed”, she said. Her face showed her frustrations.
“What else do you want me to say? That everything is going to get back to normal?”, he said. Their voices slowly rising.
“Yes!”, she yelled.
“Well I can’t promise you that, and you know it”, he said.
“I don’t need you to make a promise. I just need you to understand that what you’re saying isn’t calming me down”, she said.
Ryan shook his head. He sat down and looked down.
“I’m trying my best to calm down”, he said.
“You are, but what about me? You don’t calm me down, Ryan. Nothing you said made me calm down”, she said.
Ryan stood up quickly. “It’s because what I do doesn’t fit the category of ‘calming somebody down”, he almost yelled.
Emmy was pacing back and forth but she stopped when he stood up. “If you know me better, you would’ve known how by now. We’ve been together for 5 years and you never knew how. Before, you would do and say things that makes me calm down”, she said.
“What are you talking about? I’ve been the way I am with you ever since”, he said.
“Exactly! You never changed for the better. Only for the worst”, she said.
“That’s -“, before he could finish what he wanted to say, he stopped.
Emmy noticed how Ryan closed his eyes and tried to calm himself down.
“You know what, we’ve been arguing about this same old shit for years and we never figured it out”, he said.
“Because you would never compromise for me, but for others, you would”, she said.
Ryan let out a sarcastic chuckle. “Don’t even get me started with that”, he said.
“With what? That you failed to compromise for -”
“Want to talk about compromising? I can have a list of things I’ve done for you. But you won’t acknowledge it because it doesn’t fit your standards. You always only wanted to see what you want to see!”, he yelled
“Then make me see it! For 5 years you stayed the same. Actually, no. For 4 years, because the first year we were together, you were someone else. You were actually the guy I loved. But that guy vanished. That guy left. And now I’m stuck with the worst version of you. Because what? You went through things? Well guess what, I did too, and still I still do. You always want to be the smart guy, the guy that knows what to do in times like this. I don’t want that. I didn’t fall in love with a robot. I want a compassionate guy, and you never snapped out of it”, she said.
Ryan didn’t say word. He heard that before. Plenty of times. And he knew it would only end one way: them sleeping on it.
“You’re not the only one who went through shit, Ryan”, she said.
“Do you even remember why we started arguing about this again? It just comes out all the time. Whatever argument we have, we always end up with the same thing. Okay, I get it, I’ve gradually become worst, but I never changed. I’m still the same guy, you just expect me to be better. And I can’t because this is who I am. And I get it, I need to be better. But I can’t. And we also can’t agree to disagree”, he said.
Silence followed. None of them looking at each other.
Emmy went to their bedroom. Ryan wanted to have a cigarette.
After a while, Ryan realized he doesn’t want to end the day with them fighting. He went to their bedroom. Emmy was lying down, weeping silently.
Ryan went to bed with her and snuggled with her. Their faces next to each other. He weeped her tears away.
“Look, I may sound like I have things working out for me. But, I’m just as scared as you”, he whispered.
“Maybe you can say that. You’re human, you’re allowed to have feelings. I’m not the kind of person who would make fun of you for telling me how you feel, no matter what it is. When things are not going to be okay, I want you to be the first one to say it to me”, she said.
“I know. But I can’t stand seeing you scared, or sad, or feel anything negative. That’s why I don’t normally tell you my problems and I don’t want to say things that would make you feel sad or cause you to panic”, he said.
“I know that. But I’m the person you tell these kind of things to. I chose to be that person”, she said.
“I know. I just cant stand seeing you down. When you’re happy, I’m happy. When you’re excited, I’m excited. I don’t show it that much, but I do. Now, no one wants to feel sad, so I don’t want to make you sad, because when you’re sad-“, he said.
“Let me guess, you’re sad too?” she said.
“No, I’m devastated and I mean it”, he said. “That’s why I don’t want seeing you sad. But, I also know it isn’t about me and you’re allowed to feel things. And I can’t be the guy who would want to sugarcoat things to you because I don’t want to be the guy who got your hopes high only for it to be brought down.”
Ryan was a realist.
“But I can promise you that for better or for worst, I will be here for you”, he said.
“You know that isn’t enough. You need to do things for me the way I do things for you”, she said.
“I know. I just don’t think I have the capacity yet”, he said.
Ryan went back to his side of the bed. Nothing was resolved. They still love each other.
highest in the room 