I felt this feeling before, the feeling of wanting to talk to someone, nothing in particular, just talk.
Im not sure if I like it.
I dont want to depend my stability to others. I am happy I have someone to talk to, and actually enjoy the small talks, the casual talks, but I always end up making it my day. You know, how it felt while I was talking to that someone.
Ive had numerous casual talks with a lot of people during the time this person and I stopped talking for a while, for reasons I dont know why, but I dont need to know. All those talks really didnt feel the same feeling I have with her. It was stale. It was fun talking to my other friends, especially after a while. It was fun being able to catch up, but there is something about her.
I dont feel something special in particular towards her, maybe just her company. I dont romanticize things anymore, so at least there’s that. There’s that first line of defense I have.
God I hope everything will be fine. I dont want to mess things up. I dont want the good things I have right now to vanish. Ive had plenty of misfortunes before, more than I could handle. I just want to get what I want this time.
highest in the room 