i always like to write stories because they are better than my life

I just finished writing the first chapter of my first story coming out of retirement. Not that I’m missed, but in my head, its a big deal.

Its on Wattpad (I know, out of all the places I could publish it, why there). Its not a bad platform actually, if it wasnt filled with teenage girls wanting vampires and werewolves, and robots, and oversadistic billionaires have a foursome with no strings attached, but they soon find out they all want each other forever. Not a bad plot, though. That’s something I’d read.

It felt great writing again. With my busy schedule of work, come home, play Madden, I have troubles squeezing in writing. I know my priorities, and yes, video games are part of that.

But whenever I write (I actually type, not on my laptop, on my phone), I feel the sense of happiness I lost when I was growing up. I remembered how happy I am when I get lost into writing, when Im building my own world and having the ability to control my fate. Its sad at the same time, but at least I have that outlet.

I often weep about how sad my life is, but i really isnt. At least not compared to others. I just like to think it is. Keeps me inspired, and interesting.

Although I admit, I wish I was living in my stories rather than my actual life, because everything there is better. It sometimes get hard, but being the author of my own life, I know I will eventually make it easier for me.

But that being said, I always lean on depressing endings. Im tired of reading stories with happy endings. Not that Im bitter about it, its just cliche. I love thinking about how depressing I can end my story. I blame it on that Inception ending. Its an ending which has open interpretations, I know. And you can interpret it as a positive ending, but I always interpret it as negatively as I can. I still think he is still stuck in his own dream, and he didnt really get home to his kids. Its more interesting to me if he was still dreaming.

With the story I am writing now, I want it to end positively. But Im tempted as hell to end it where everyone just dies. No reason, no cause, everyone just dies. Like that ending of Buried which starred Ryan Reynolds. He died. Spoiler.

Anyway, for those interested. I’ll give the link to my story. Its still a work in progress, but chapter 1 is up. I am basically talking to myself in this blog so might as well double down on my delusion. Ha!